His Eyes

I learned a new word this week.  Usually I like learning new words.  I like having different ways to express my thoughts, to be challenged, or just entertained by word origins and the like.  

However, the word palliative, I do not like.  It was included in a message from a brother in Christ discussing pain management of his wife who is battling stage 4 pancreatic cancer.  In fact, when I looked the word up...I got angry that such a word exists.  

Palliative...adjective...(of a medicine or medical care) relieving pain without dealing with the cause of the condition.

​Not dealing with the cause?  I was outraged, indignant, and just angry.  

In the context, it just felt like it was a system saying "we give up."  

I understand, rationally, that sometimes such care is all you can medically give, but emotionally when tied to this person I know and respect, I was not having it.

I have not been able to let it go either, as you can see.  It still bugs me.  And not just in praying for Carrie (stop...say a prayer for her complete healing right now.  Thank you)  but also on a metaphorical level.  

I regularly struggle hard with how I live my life, and how I do my job.  I have many little voices in my head that are quite persistent in that I do not do a "good" job, a Christ honoring job...in general that I suck as a human being.  

Am I, are we, is this organization...just putting band-aids on gaping wounds?  Covering it up, but not really solving anything?

Are we really changing anything that matters long term?

Or is this all somehow just something to provide the "palliative"... that looks good, but isn't getting to the heart of the matter?

We have clearly not found all the answers to these questions...but I think part of the struggle of life is to genuinely ask, and answer, these questions on a regular basis.  

Are we feeding children, not just for physical strength, but to change their spiritual lives long term...giving them opportunities to know God on a real heart level...helping them educationally to be in a better job force related way...helping them to see how they can impact and transform their communities?

Are we using resources well, planning on transportation need, making good choices, thinking things through on what can help us get the most bang for our buck, being the safest option, being the most reliable option...trucks, buildings, equipment...how is it all helping us do what we are called to do, and what is just in the way or not worth it?

Are we reflecting the light of Christ in our lives in what we say, how we say it, the expression on our face...and how we interact with others, especially those that disagree with us or don't like us?

I could go on of course.  Part of the reason I think I have lasted so long living in Honduras is learning the ability to ask those questions, sometimes being uncomfortable with the answers, or in the lack of a good answer, and being able to stay rooted to Christ, because...where else would I go?  

We should improve.  We must improve, we must grow, and seek to get closer to Christ.  That doesn't mean you get to see the plan, the results, or the why.

Sometimes though, you do get to see the evidence of the work held in a smiling child's hand.  Sometimes as well you remember, that child lost her mother last month. 

I get angry, I get sad, I get depressed...but at the heart of the matter, the foundation of it all is not some salve to just take the sting away...it is Christ, who conquered death, and reigns.  

If we share that in what we do and who we are, it means something, it matters, and He works it out for good.  

Christ is not palliative...He is Lord.  

I can remember 20 years ago looking at a really nice hotel that was empty, unfinished.  I also remember talk wondering if it would ever be finished, or used if it were to be finished.  

Flash forward, and not only has the Marriott been there now thriving for many years (and quite the spot for weddings and more...it really is quite fancy all the way around) and an interesting neighbor for the Presidential Palace (with a hardware store on the other side, so that is really interesting.)  

Who would have thought back then, or even just a few years ago, that there would be two huge, taller, wider, bigger office buildings for government office built there, (plus a parking garage, and other building not seen here)...or would think they would be built anywhere for that matter?  For those interested...the intended purpose is to cut down on so many offices of the government renting houses and buildings all around town and centralize them.  Sounds good.  If the infrastructure can handle it, including the parking...should be a hit.  We shall see, they start moving in next week.  

​Building things...hard work.  

It was certainly hard on three of the Fords this week trying to build a better road to the coffee farm in Sampedrana. 

Recent rains did not help, but the problem is one we face even when the roads are bone dry as well.  

So the orders of the week were install new drainage tiles for less problems in low spots, and lay down some big and small gravel, as many pickup loads as they could.  

Expensive, dangerous, time consuming, and not done either.  

But...the vision is there.  And so will the work long term as well. 


Speaking of Sampedrana, the work of building up the next generation in the Milk Project continues.  

Seen here is Nancy, the part time volunteer, giving a lesson to the kids. 

Start out teaching, teach others to teach, end up with teachers.  Seems like a good idea.  But it is a different kind of a hard road to travel sometimes as well.


​We had an unexpected change this week, our long term dentist decided to leave us, and that meant they took out their equipment, and we needed to put new equipment (thanks to FAME) in.  

We are entering new waters now, after so many years of them with us, but we have hired a new dentist and hopefully will be doing even more in this area in the future.   




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We often times don't have many pictures to share of what goes on in the clinic on a daily basis.  Stopping to take pictures, or even asking to take pictures, isn't always the most respectful of ideas.

What everyone is able to do there really is impressive though.  Especially when you are trying to provide good care to people that sometimes do not have the funds to help themselves with medicines, feel the need to half their doses to make medicines last, or face a litany of other hurdles to keep paces with the challenges of life and living it.  

I did get this picture recently of Maria.  She is 93 years old.  Her family abandoned her, but another family took her in to care for.  She was using a stick to help her walk...but they were able to remedy that with a new walking cane.  She wasn't a patient officially, but when getting her the new walking piece, they took her blood pressure for good measure while she was waiting out the in parking lot.   

We have also pushed to do some remodeling in the clinic.

The patient and staff bathrooms we installed ten years ago were not the best.  We knew that when we put them in, but we were out of funds, and when push came to shove...it was open with temporary bathrooms, or not open for quite a while.  

Those temporary bathrooms were usable, and actually held up pretty well for what they were, but after ten years...they were past their prime, and not very easy to keep sanitary/clean. 

So we swallowed hard, and took the plunge to build them so they should not need touching again (other than cleaning and maybe some equipment repair) with concrete walls, tile that can be wiped down and won't stain with time, and more individualized bathrooms (individual lights, extractors, doors and walls that go all the way to the ceiling.  

Blue for the walls of course.  

Remodeling both bathrooms wasn't easy, but it definitely was needed.

Somewhat unique to our situation, because we run on cisterns, and sometimes run out of water, we created a way to continue to have water even when our main cistern is out to still have water in the bathrooms.  As you can imagine, in a clinic, bathrooms are not just necessary, but often times necessary with urgency.  
  
So we built a tower and bought yet another cistern to make these bathrooms independent for those times.

While we were at it, we moved the pila outside for washing out mops and the like.  Again, more hygienic.  We could not have even dreamed of this ten years ago since the property was not fenced.

And...notice the red second floor is now blue!  We had some fading with the red paint, and to avoid rust and more problems...we just painted the entire building (and some of the roof that also had fadining) 
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Of course, it can't be all good news.  The ultrasound that just arrived...doesn't work.  We are seeing if it can be fixed. Thankfully we have the portable still in good repair.  
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And this lovely phoropter also arrived broken. It was able to be fixed at some cost...which is when it was realized that it is setup backwards, as they are when used by ophthalmologists.  So it is usable...but a bit of a pain to translate everything for use giving prescriptions and glasses.  You think it is confusing when a doctor gives you an exam normally...think of the poor patient and doctor that had to figure that out the first time it was used here!    

Please pray for the staff of the clinic to continue to strive for excellent thought and care given to their patients, transmitting via word and deed as well the love of Christ in all they do!

We are learning.  Sometimes it does not feel like we are doing it quick enough, but it does add up.  

How we work out the day to day activities of the Milk Project continues to grow, as well as how to get the kids involved in those activities.

We started a little garden experiment behind the clinic in the new area we finished this summer with groups.  What all will grow there is still in progress...but they are already able to harvest and use some cilantro.  

They also continue to look for ways to get involved outside the building.  Maria continues to want to instill in them not to litter and help take care of the neighborhood.  Sometimes that means helping pick up trash on the streets...or here on the clinic property as well.  

The avocado trees in Sampedrana may not get to be huge (they look more like bushes than huge trees) but that makes them much easier to harvest.  Eventually we think we will sell some of them, but right now we are happy to use as many as possible right back in the mission, especially in the Milk Project in Sampedrana.  We would not have the budget to buy these, and knowing how nutritious they are, it is great to get to see them added to their diet.  

Working with people, trying to help people make life changes isn't easy.  Last week one of the family's that has children in the Milk Project had major problems, with the estranged mother coming to their home at 11:30PM drunk, and threw their old, heavy TV, injuring two of her daughters.  Maria took them in for the evening after their father asked for help, just so they could actually sleep.  

Please pray for our staff and the kids.  We don't have this down to a science, but we are trying to look consistently for new ideas, new methods, and new ways to help grow the kids and families in our area​s, practically, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  

If you ever have ideas or materials you think we could use...let us know!  

, ​Living our lives sneaks up on us sometimes.  Sometimes I feel like I get regular reminders of the following:

1. One does not know what the day will bring.
2. Everything is fine, until it isn’t. 

 
It is hard to prepare yourself sometimes given those axioms, but it is possible…to some extent.  I find that in praying, and in being mindful of the things I take for granted (well, as many as I can remember) and in practicing flexibility, it helps.  You might notice I am proclaiming, while also leaving myself an out.  We will get back to that.
 
In the past couple of weeks, there has been quite a bit going on around the mission.  The good news is…I can’t possibly cover it all in one blog post.  The better news is that I won’t even try.
 
One of the cool things was seeing 65 people come for a seminar on leadership and evangelism.  It was especially cool because the Church we work with next door let us use their building to do it, an organization provided the funding to get the trainer (Bring Good News), Walk through the Bible did the teaching, and we had The Milk Projects and several different Churches represented.  Bringing that all together was definitely a God thing.  And the good news is that we have a follow-up conference also to come on the same topic coming in November. 
 
One thing we had not really planned on, was sending Alexis from Cantarranas to help pastor Manuel in Talanga.  Having recently completed his pastoral studies up North, we have been watching to see how God might use Alexis going forward, and in seeing the need to help Manuel and try to find ways to add members to the Church, especially men and families…sending him there for a couple months to help do home Bible studies seemed like a pretty good idea. 
 
It was a normal weekday morning when I got a phone call from Maria.  And it was around 7:30, before she goes into work.  Odd I thought, I better interrupt my running and take this call, it could be urgent.  Maria had come across someone in our neighborhood who had apparently fallen in the ditch the night before, when it was raining, and had been convulsing.  She did not know her other than seeing her in the neighborhood trying to sell soap or find recyclables she could sell.  The public ambulance system had been advised, but would not take her to the hospital, as they could not lift her.  I wasn’t clear on what our official ambulance policy was as a mission/clinic, but I did not really need a policy fresh in mind to tell us what to do.  Jorge took the guys getting ready to do construction, went in the ambulance, and they got her to the hospital.  I was glad we had an ambulance that day (thanks again to FAME and IDES) and staff to not only drive it but provide care along the way (one of our nurses goes with the patient.) 
 
It is often said that good deeds are their own reward, and in this case, after everyone sprang into action, I said a prayer for healing, and went on with our day…without a way to follow up, it would be hard to know who she was, and what happened.  It was not long though before Maria had visitors, it turns out that the woman died the next day after being taken to the hospital, but her daughters specifically came back to give thanks for the help provided.  Good deeds can indeed be their own reward…in this case though, we had no idea when providing the minimum of help we thought we could provide would be seen or appreciated by anyone else. 
 
The same day, Maria saw Mariza’s mother, who lives just down the block from the Milk Project, and she was very sick, and had not been able to go to the bathroom for over a week.  (Mariza attends the Milk Project.)  As the ambulance was gone…she found her another ride to the hospital.  Unfortunately, though, her condition was too advanced and she died by the next morning.  For a time, the family was asking Maria to be the one to break the news to Mariza.  Her father though was able to get there, and they did it together, but for a few hours it was tough to figure out what was going to happen, and how to best go about everything related to that. 

Recently we had some trouble in Sampedrana...the Milk Project director reported that the pastor was turning off the water valve to the building.  (like most of us...we need to work on some interpersonal communication tools there.)  

Turns out, that was not the case, the pastor was not fiddling with the water control valves.

Instead, they had been stolen.  

That's right, someone found the right spot, turned off the water, and made off with the key, so to speak, to prevent the entire campus from having water. 

Why?  There is no material gain here in this "theft" but rather just the opportunity to be a nuisance.  

Go back where you came from, that sort of thing.  Being a Christian in Sampedrana certainly does not make you popular, and sometimes, there are even consequences to that.  

We pray for safety, we pray for encouragement...but we also pray for those that would rather us leave, for Christ to touch their hearts.  

In Talanga, Manuel has had some help the last month.  Alexis finished his training up North, and while they are formulating a plan for him to help maybe in Cantarranas, him spending a few months in Talanga to help evangelize and visit families.  

Working in Talanga also isn't easy sometimes.   Knocking on more doors though and getting a no means you are just that much closer to someone who will say yes.  But after years of that...it can be hard to keep going, and having someone else to help you can be very powerful, and encouraging.  

The Milk Project is trying to take advantage of the new finished garden behind the clinic and fresh dirt to plant some vegetables.  They are going to try eggplant, cherry tomatoes, carrots, cilantro and others.  

They are excited.  I am excited.  It won't be easy, that is the way of good things.  But they are not alone, and they have help.  

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I have been told before to go back where I came from.  Not agreeing with someone, what I believe perhaps not being tolerated, or just appearing threatening to someone's normalcy sometimes can produce that reaction.  

I am instead looking forward to where I will go, and how many people we can help go there as well, not by forcing, hating, or convincing.

Plant some seeds, have some conversations...with others, and most importantly, with God.  It is amazing where it will take you...sometimes the journey being within your own mind.

Getting to hold the hands of Milk Project children that are dealing with scarring allergies and no money for medicine...seeing on their faces the telltale look of being made fun of and ashamed for how they look, and to get to hug them and ignore the superficial is hard...and good for the soul.  Knowing their emotional and spiritual needs and thinking about our staff trying to meet those and nurture them daily...the clinic trying to heal and encourage every day, pastors doing the same, coffee farmers trying in their way the same as well...overwhelming.  Overwhelming what they are doing, and what could be to come.  

I continue to pray about hiring an English teacher for the Milk Project.  I can see down the tube of time and see opportunities for work with this language skill developed, doors opened, and lives changed...actually beyond what I can conceive.  

I got to see some of the English classes that some of the kids actually get.  It is more written than verbal, and the picture to the right is just one example of classes that are...close I suppose.  

It won't be easy, it will require change, patience, and quite a bit of effort, but I can see it will be worth it.  



In seeing the Milk Project kids doing homework and what they have copied in school I saw the page to the right.  It says:

​"What we know is that we live in difficult times, but the exit to this crisis is not migration, but looking for mechanisms to survive in our land.  We can take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves to us in the community where we live, and work hard so that we do not lack what is necessary."