His Eyes

It came to my attention this week something perhaps obvious to everyone else, but the word quarantine comes to us from the Italians, during their bouts with the plague, and means forty days (quaranta giorni) from holding ships at bay for that long to prevent spread.  

Our quarantine started in Tegucigalpa on Sunday, supposedly for seven days...which quickly turned in to all businesses save for healthcare being totally closed as well.

Personally, I am confronted by my introvert nature, as I hear of frustration and being bored during quarantines in other parts of the world...I barely notice a change and definitely don't have any frustration or being bored.  I think i could go weeks like this with great pleasure, using it as an excuse to be able to avoid contact with the outside world.

As an aside, if you needed proof there are hills on the campus, check out how many floors I got doing a light walk this morning.  

Plenty of office work still to do, the clinic is still open, kids are doing online school...changes, but relatively harmless.  A bonus is not having to drive anywhere since Sunday.  

However, for most of the world, a quarantine is a very serious thing, and I am not talking just about exposure, but rather living itself.  So many people here survive daily based on what they can earn that day and thus buy something to eat.  Being in what is for now a seven day quarantine lock down, is not an inconvenience but a true trial in many ways.  

Our Milk Project staff continues to come every day (thankfully...they live very close, and police enforcement in our area has been light) and are working to take food to the homes of the children to help them in this time, both cooked food plus foodstuffs to use at other times.  

Yesterday in preparation, they were also personalizing some messages for the kids, and printing out homework assignments the kids have been getting since school is out (proactive teachers still have WhatsApp to give out some assignments, but they usually require internet access, which is where we come in) 

How our rural pastors are doing, we are not sure...telephone communication is hard, and with them locked in place and not able to come down the hill, we wait and see.  We know the coffee farm managers are still working on drying coffee for us to sell and working daily on the farms.  

​Pray for our clinic staff...they continue to work in this crisis, using the ambulance to pick those up to bring them here since there is no public transportation (Jorge left at 6:00 this morning to go out to get them.) 

We cannot test for COVID-19 in our clinic, and are taking new measures to prevent the spread, but people are still ill and make their way here, and some still come for dental and eye work as well, for as long as we can continue to do so.

Of course be in prayer as well please for so many we know, and don't know, here that are struggling in very real ways during such a time.   

And for others still working in the sectors allowed (police, health workers, and today for a few hours, grocery store workers...policies and practices are changed on a daily basis...including curfew locations and whether or not cargo or other trucks are allowed to leave the city.)  

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Rendir translated is surrender.  That word hit me hard this week.  Turns out, the definition is a little different than I would have thought in my head according to Google:  "​stop resisting to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority."

It started with us losing the group that was to come this Saturday.  I could deal with that on some level, but as the consequences of that came of cancelling plans, construction projects, etc. (including removing the seats from the Ford) I was struggling a bit to accept the reality that God's timing is better than what I can see or want myself.  

Then, reading of a friend's recent joy of the birth of a child come with diagnosis of Down's Syndrome and heart issues.  Praying led to some internal conversations and limited intentionally sharing of that with God.  

And literally among that, interrupted by a phone call talking about these very issues...a podcast.  I was listening to a reader's question and how that led to a talk of surrendering to God through baptism, and living a life surrendered to Him.  

Surrender...stop resisting and submit to God's authority.  

I needed that reminder to slap me upside the head.  Whether it is groups, illness, personal travel plans, death...I can make plans, work the plan, and such...but ultimately, I have to surrender my plans, my desires, and my life to God.  

Some of us live in a different world than others.

This is not exactly mind blowing news, but how we get reminded of that sometimes does manage to make me stop and think. 

Our kids were off in San Pedro Sula this past weekend for a soccer tournament.  Cecilia came home with heavier bags than she left with, as she noticed that the free water and Gatorade that was being left out for people was being thrown away when not consumed.  So she has several new water bottles, and came home still with several new bottles of Gatorade.  She also wrote me to tell me of how much food was thrown away from the meals they were given every day.  The waste she sees on a regular basis continues to shock her, especially after her experiences working with the Milk Project.  

Speaking of which, I happened to get a text today from Maria regarding one of the children in Tegucigalpa.  Eduar comes from a home of extreme poverty, and for her to use those words given what she sees daily, that means something.  Eduar has to go to the hospital again, he has what is described to me as a hole in his heart that needs repair.  Right now, Maria was writing me because Eduar and his family sometimes go days without something to eat.  Sometimes when he is at the Milk Project, he does not want to eat...because he says his sister has not eaten (and she is not part of the Milk Project.)  When we have extra food every day, they rotate which of the children that are doing the worst get to take that home.  

Maria wanted to spend just a little bit of extra money to buy him some clothes, and food stuffs to take home.  

That was a decision that did not require much thought. 

But everything around that...requires a lot of thought, and prayer, on a regular basis.
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We had occasion to go to Danli twice so far this year, for a medical day, and then to attend Church, and they are meeting in a new location now.  Danli is a tough location for us because we never really were ready or wanting to establish a new work in this area, but even with very little support from us, God has pastor Edwin still plugging away there and working hard to keep everything going.  I am not sure what the future will hold there, but praying for God's direction for sure for all involved, and some way that Edwin can support his family, as the clothing ministry there has stopped because Edwin just cannot make any money doing that now with increased shipping costs and taxes, it has made things just too difficult to be profitable while also trying to help people.  

Sampedrana has seen great strides on the Hill Climber coffee farm.  We finished the wash plant, the storage/prep area, and new drying racks.  There is so much left to do here, including more road work (which Carlos and the guys continue to work on regularly as well) and just continuing to improve and expand every area.  It is both exciting and intimidating.  

Paperwork for the coffee farm properties continues, and that includes really good things that are also a bit of a pain.  The deed system is now using GPS to define property lines.  But that also means days of taking government employees out with GPS hand held machines to measure, and then unfortunately remeasure...stopping every 15 feet for another measurement.  That is a lot of walking, but it will be worth it when it is done.  We are having to do this for both Las Botijas and Sampedrana.  


The Milk Project began the year gearing up for a new school year (Honduras runs February to November) and that means how we try to help every year...with new backpacks, school supplies...and school shoes.  This is a huge help to the parents and kids, helping them stay in school in what otherwise would be a hard decision for many families.  This is just one part of what we are trying to do with the Milk Project...physical milk, spiritual milk, and education support to break the bonds of physical poverty long term for future generations in our communities.  

We also bought some more T-shirts this month as a mission, partnering with a local business operating in a residential neighborhood and providing employment to quite a few folks.  We like it when we can do things to help the mission and help others in our area at the same time.  Sometimes it takes a little more work, but usually it is worth it.

Help us pray that we could keep putting out fires while also keep our focus on our long term goals for 2020.  We definitely stay busy, but we want to stay focused.  

Right now one of our big "fires" to put out is the recent cutting of the water supply to the farm in Las Botijas, making it very difficult for Rony and his family just to live there!  The five kilometers of pipe that was delivering water has been cut off and we will have to find alternative options long term, and none of those options are easy or cheap.  

Other issues...finding/buying the right property in Talanga, finalizing a plan to take the clinic solar including battery backup for power outages, hiring new positions for the Milk Project, and farm vehicle needs.  

I have been trying to think of something to post before the end of the year.  I really wasn't sure what I was going to do, but looking through pictures I have received, it just snuck up on me.  

What a better way to mark the end of a year of life, ministry, stuff, than looking at some Milk Project pictures to remind me that we are all in a process of growing?  

Sometimes in ways we can't see in the moment, and sometimes not in ways we are even aware, but one thing we are all not doing is staying the same.  It is sobering, since that can mean changing in a less desirable direction, but such is life.  It is a challenge ever present.

What are we doing with our days?

I know for us as people, believers, and as a mission, it is something we think about a lot, and still know we have a long way to go.

The pictures here were created by Lesly, Maria's daughter.  It was timely...we lost a few kids this past month due to dire family circumstances.  I admit to letting that affect me a bit and just thinking about "How are we really making a generational difference...long term impact with kids if sometimes they have to leave for reasons beyond our control?"  I think it was the next day I got the first of these pictures she created from old pictures we are using on the website...and then had the kids recreate.  The hashtag/caption on them says "Same place, but we have grown"

For me, that was sobering, humbling, and pretty stinking cool.  It seems quite often when I can confront my bad attitude about things, it doesn't take long and with just eyes open to see how wrong I am about what God is doing around me.    

And then, they had the idea to thank everyone in the clinic as a Milk Project, for all the help they have provided to the kids during the year. They made little pine cone crafts and gave them out to everyone there, and the guys that have worked in construction as well.  

Thinking outside the box, connecting two different worlds, doing so out of genuine gratitude and wanting to give back, with the love of Christ...  

​I'm pumped up for 2020.  
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I learned a new word this week.  Usually I like learning new words.  I like having different ways to express my thoughts, to be challenged, or just entertained by word origins and the like.  

However, the word palliative, I do not like.  It was included in a message from a brother in Christ discussing pain management of his wife who is battling stage 4 pancreatic cancer.  In fact, when I looked the word up...I got angry that such a word exists.  

Palliative...adjective...(of a medicine or medical care) relieving pain without dealing with the cause of the condition.

​Not dealing with the cause?  I was outraged, indignant, and just angry.  

In the context, it just felt like it was a system saying "we give up."  

I understand, rationally, that sometimes such care is all you can medically give, but emotionally when tied to this person I know and respect, I was not having it.

I have not been able to let it go either, as you can see.  It still bugs me.  And not just in praying for Carrie (stop...say a prayer for her complete healing right now.  Thank you)  but also on a metaphorical level.  

I regularly struggle hard with how I live my life, and how I do my job.  I have many little voices in my head that are quite persistent in that I do not do a "good" job, a Christ honoring job...in general that I suck as a human being.  

Am I, are we, is this organization...just putting band-aids on gaping wounds?  Covering it up, but not really solving anything?

Are we really changing anything that matters long term?

Or is this all somehow just something to provide the "palliative"... that looks good, but isn't getting to the heart of the matter?

We have clearly not found all the answers to these questions...but I think part of the struggle of life is to genuinely ask, and answer, these questions on a regular basis.  

Are we feeding children, not just for physical strength, but to change their spiritual lives long term...giving them opportunities to know God on a real heart level...helping them educationally to be in a better job force related way...helping them to see how they can impact and transform their communities?

Are we using resources well, planning on transportation need, making good choices, thinking things through on what can help us get the most bang for our buck, being the safest option, being the most reliable option...trucks, buildings, equipment...how is it all helping us do what we are called to do, and what is just in the way or not worth it?

Are we reflecting the light of Christ in our lives in what we say, how we say it, the expression on our face...and how we interact with others, especially those that disagree with us or don't like us?

I could go on of course.  Part of the reason I think I have lasted so long living in Honduras is learning the ability to ask those questions, sometimes being uncomfortable with the answers, or in the lack of a good answer, and being able to stay rooted to Christ, because...where else would I go?  

We should improve.  We must improve, we must grow, and seek to get closer to Christ.  That doesn't mean you get to see the plan, the results, or the why.

Sometimes though, you do get to see the evidence of the work held in a smiling child's hand.  Sometimes as well you remember, that child lost her mother last month. 

I get angry, I get sad, I get depressed...but at the heart of the matter, the foundation of it all is not some salve to just take the sting away...it is Christ, who conquered death, and reigns.  

If we share that in what we do and who we are, it means something, it matters, and He works it out for good.  

Christ is not palliative...He is Lord.  

I can remember 20 years ago looking at a really nice hotel that was empty, unfinished.  I also remember talk wondering if it would ever be finished, or used if it were to be finished.  

Flash forward, and not only has the Marriott been there now thriving for many years (and quite the spot for weddings and more...it really is quite fancy all the way around) and an interesting neighbor for the Presidential Palace (with a hardware store on the other side, so that is really interesting.)  

Who would have thought back then, or even just a few years ago, that there would be two huge, taller, wider, bigger office buildings for government office built there, (plus a parking garage, and other building not seen here)...or would think they would be built anywhere for that matter?  For those interested...the intended purpose is to cut down on so many offices of the government renting houses and buildings all around town and centralize them.  Sounds good.  If the infrastructure can handle it, including the parking...should be a hit.  We shall see, they start moving in next week.  

​Building things...hard work.  

It was certainly hard on three of the Fords this week trying to build a better road to the coffee farm in Sampedrana. 

Recent rains did not help, but the problem is one we face even when the roads are bone dry as well.  

So the orders of the week were install new drainage tiles for less problems in low spots, and lay down some big and small gravel, as many pickup loads as they could.  

Expensive, dangerous, time consuming, and not done either.  

But...the vision is there.  And so will the work long term as well. 


Speaking of Sampedrana, the work of building up the next generation in the Milk Project continues.  

Seen here is Nancy, the part time volunteer, giving a lesson to the kids. 

Start out teaching, teach others to teach, end up with teachers.  Seems like a good idea.  But it is a different kind of a hard road to travel sometimes as well.


​We had an unexpected change this week, our long term dentist decided to leave us, and that meant they took out their equipment, and we needed to put new equipment (thanks to FAME) in.  

We are entering new waters now, after so many years of them with us, but we have hired a new dentist and hopefully will be doing even more in this area in the future.   




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We often times don't have many pictures to share of what goes on in the clinic on a daily basis.  Stopping to take pictures, or even asking to take pictures, isn't always the most respectful of ideas.

What everyone is able to do there really is impressive though.  Especially when you are trying to provide good care to people that sometimes do not have the funds to help themselves with medicines, feel the need to half their doses to make medicines last, or face a litany of other hurdles to keep paces with the challenges of life and living it.  

I did get this picture recently of Maria.  She is 93 years old.  Her family abandoned her, but another family took her in to care for.  She was using a stick to help her walk...but they were able to remedy that with a new walking cane.  She wasn't a patient officially, but when getting her the new walking piece, they took her blood pressure for good measure while she was waiting out the in parking lot.   

We have also pushed to do some remodeling in the clinic.

The patient and staff bathrooms we installed ten years ago were not the best.  We knew that when we put them in, but we were out of funds, and when push came to shove...it was open with temporary bathrooms, or not open for quite a while.  

Those temporary bathrooms were usable, and actually held up pretty well for what they were, but after ten years...they were past their prime, and not very easy to keep sanitary/clean. 

So we swallowed hard, and took the plunge to build them so they should not need touching again (other than cleaning and maybe some equipment repair) with concrete walls, tile that can be wiped down and won't stain with time, and more individualized bathrooms (individual lights, extractors, doors and walls that go all the way to the ceiling.  

Blue for the walls of course.  

Remodeling both bathrooms wasn't easy, but it definitely was needed.

Somewhat unique to our situation, because we run on cisterns, and sometimes run out of water, we created a way to continue to have water even when our main cistern is out to still have water in the bathrooms.  As you can imagine, in a clinic, bathrooms are not just necessary, but often times necessary with urgency.  
  
So we built a tower and bought yet another cistern to make these bathrooms independent for those times.

While we were at it, we moved the pila outside for washing out mops and the like.  Again, more hygienic.  We could not have even dreamed of this ten years ago since the property was not fenced.

And...notice the red second floor is now blue!  We had some fading with the red paint, and to avoid rust and more problems...we just painted the entire building (and some of the roof that also had fadining) 
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Of course, it can't be all good news.  The ultrasound that just arrived...doesn't work.  We are seeing if it can be fixed. Thankfully we have the portable still in good repair.  
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And this lovely phoropter also arrived broken. It was able to be fixed at some cost...which is when it was realized that it is setup backwards, as they are when used by ophthalmologists.  So it is usable...but a bit of a pain to translate everything for use giving prescriptions and glasses.  You think it is confusing when a doctor gives you an exam normally...think of the poor patient and doctor that had to figure that out the first time it was used here!    

Please pray for the staff of the clinic to continue to strive for excellent thought and care given to their patients, transmitting via word and deed as well the love of Christ in all they do!