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Why does it have to be this way?

3/24/2020

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I am having a semi-normal day.  Water trucks started heading by around 4:30, I hear mototaxis, some actual sales trucks for milk, juice, water (since stores are all closed except some pulperias and healthcare facilities) and patients are coming to the clinic.

Sometimes a normal day of paperwork in the office though can still break me inside though.

Someone had the good idea to use some of our Hill Climber coffee to gift it to all the employees that are still able to get here, thinking that it is something we can do to help them with the lack of being able to shop, not much, but something.  Those in the clinic were so excited they made a party out of surprising each new person to come in the room with applause and a party like atmosphere.

Talking to Maria about a Milk Project child and their housing change, she let me know that the child's parents have separated, and so the siblings that came to us from that house are now in different neighborhoods, and that her sister that now lives far away often comes with lice, and that have several girls that help remove them on a regular basis.  

And our clinic was consulted this morning about a patient that wants to use our ambulance to remove a loved one from the hospital to take them home so they can die there versus the hospital.  

The life situations reflected there made me angry.  I reacted, I asked God why does it have to be this way?  I have the theological answer, but that doesn't always cut it for my heart.  But, it does mean that instead of totally collapsing, I can keep going, but sometimes it still doesn't take away the heart sting.  

Although, when I stop to write this down, I can also see those situations in a different light...gifting 20 pounds  of coffee will impact probably 75 people or more, and brought way more joy than could have been predicted...being there for these girls and their family means ongoing opportunities to show, model, and express God's love for us, them, and other children in the project...and we are blessed to have an ambulance to help when people are in need, not to mention a clinic and staff that are here helping people in the face of a even more real lack of options recently.

Paraphrasing something I heard recently...sometimes you just have to do what you can, whether you think it is enough or not and let that talk you out of it...and sometimes you have to do just for one or a few, what you wish you could do for all.  

Maybe in another few decades I will get that down.  In the meantime, God keeps giving me, us, and the mission different opportunities to take those steps of faith and trust Him to bring it all around.  
    
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forty days

3/19/2020

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It came to my attention this week something perhaps obvious to everyone else, but the word quarantine comes to us from the Italians, during their bouts with the plague, and means forty days (quaranta giorni) from holding ships at bay for that long to prevent spread.  

Our quarantine started in Tegucigalpa on Sunday, supposedly for seven days...which quickly turned in to all businesses save for healthcare being totally closed as well.

Personally, I am confronted by my introvert nature, as I hear of frustration and being bored during quarantines in other parts of the world...I barely notice a change and definitely don't have any frustration or being bored.  I think i could go weeks like this with great pleasure, using it as an excuse to be able to avoid contact with the outside world.

As an aside, if you needed proof there are hills on the campus, check out how many floors I got doing a light walk this morning.  

Plenty of office work still to do, the clinic is still open, kids are doing online school...changes, but relatively harmless.  A bonus is not having to drive anywhere since Sunday.  

However, for most of the world, a quarantine is a very serious thing, and I am not talking just about exposure, but rather living itself.  So many people here survive daily based on what they can earn that day and thus buy something to eat.  Being in what is for now a seven day quarantine lock down, is not an inconvenience but a true trial in many ways.  

Our Milk Project staff continues to come every day (thankfully...they live very close, and police enforcement in our area has been light) and are working to take food to the homes of the children to help them in this time, both cooked food plus foodstuffs to use at other times.  

Yesterday in preparation, they were also personalizing some messages for the kids, and printing out homework assignments the kids have been getting since school is out (proactive teachers still have WhatsApp to give out some assignments, but they usually require internet access, which is where we come in) 

How our rural pastors are doing, we are not sure...telephone communication is hard, and with them locked in place and not able to come down the hill, we wait and see.  We know the coffee farm managers are still working on drying coffee for us to sell and working daily on the farms.  

​Pray for our clinic staff...they continue to work in this crisis, using the ambulance to pick those up to bring them here since there is no public transportation (Jorge left at 6:00 this morning to go out to get them.) 

We cannot test for COVID-19 in our clinic, and are taking new measures to prevent the spread, but people are still ill and make their way here, and some still come for dental and eye work as well, for as long as we can continue to do so.

Of course be in prayer as well please for so many we know, and don't know, here that are struggling in very real ways during such a time.   

And for others still working in the sectors allowed (police, health workers, and today for a few hours, grocery store workers...policies and practices are changed on a daily basis...including curfew locations and whether or not cargo or other trucks are allowed to leave the city.)  

​

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rendir

3/11/2020

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Rendir translated is surrender.  That word hit me hard this week.  Turns out, the definition is a little different than I would have thought in my head according to Google:  "​stop resisting to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority."

It started with us losing the group that was to come this Saturday.  I could deal with that on some level, but as the consequences of that came of cancelling plans, construction projects, etc. (including removing the seats from the Ford) I was struggling a bit to accept the reality that God's timing is better than what I can see or want myself.  

Then, reading of a friend's recent joy of the birth of a child come with diagnosis of Down's Syndrome and heart issues.  Praying led to some internal conversations and limited intentionally sharing of that with God.  

And literally among that, interrupted by a phone call talking about these very issues...a podcast.  I was listening to a reader's question and how that led to a talk of surrendering to God through baptism, and living a life surrendered to Him.  

Surrender...stop resisting and submit to God's authority.  

I needed that reminder to slap me upside the head.  Whether it is groups, illness, personal travel plans, death...I can make plans, work the plan, and such...but ultimately, I have to surrender my plans, my desires, and my life to God.  

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Different world

3/3/2020

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Some of us live in a different world than others.

This is not exactly mind blowing news, but how we get reminded of that sometimes does manage to make me stop and think. 

Our kids were off in San Pedro Sula this past weekend for a soccer tournament.  Cecilia came home with heavier bags than she left with, as she noticed that the free water and Gatorade that was being left out for people was being thrown away when not consumed.  So she has several new water bottles, and came home still with several new bottles of Gatorade.  She also wrote me to tell me of how much food was thrown away from the meals they were given every day.  The waste she sees on a regular basis continues to shock her, especially after her experiences working with the Milk Project.  

Speaking of which, I happened to get a text today from Maria regarding one of the children in Tegucigalpa.  Eduar comes from a home of extreme poverty, and for her to use those words given what she sees daily, that means something.  Eduar has to go to the hospital again, he has what is described to me as a hole in his heart that needs repair.  Right now, Maria was writing me because Eduar and his family sometimes go days without something to eat.  Sometimes when he is at the Milk Project, he does not want to eat...because he says his sister has not eaten (and she is not part of the Milk Project.)  When we have extra food every day, they rotate which of the children that are doing the worst get to take that home.  

Maria wanted to spend just a little bit of extra money to buy him some clothes, and food stuffs to take home.  

That was a decision that did not require much thought. 

But everything around that...requires a lot of thought, and prayer, on a regular basis.
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