Why does it have to be this way?

I am having a semi-normal day.  Water trucks started heading by around 4:30, I hear mototaxis, some actual sales trucks for milk, juice, water (since stores are all closed except some pulperias and healthcare facilities) and patients are coming to the clinic.

Sometimes a normal day of paperwork in the office though can still break me inside though.

Someone had the good idea to use some of our Hill Climber coffee to gift it to all the employees that are still able to get here, thinking that it is something we can do to help them with the lack of being able to shop, not much, but something.  Those in the clinic were so excited they made a party out of surprising each new person to come in the room with applause and a party like atmosphere.

Talking to Maria about a Milk Project child and their housing change, she let me know that the child's parents have separated, and so the siblings that came to us from that house are now in different neighborhoods, and that her sister that now lives far away often comes with lice, and that have several girls that help remove them on a regular basis.  

And our clinic was consulted this morning about a patient that wants to use our ambulance to remove a loved one from the hospital to take them home so they can die there versus the hospital.  

The life situations reflected there made me angry.  I reacted, I asked God why does it have to be this way?  I have the theological answer, but that doesn't always cut it for my heart.  But, it does mean that instead of totally collapsing, I can keep going, but sometimes it still doesn't take away the heart sting.  

Although, when I stop to write this down, I can also see those situations in a different light...gifting 20 pounds  of coffee will impact probably 75 people or more, and brought way more joy than could have been predicted...being there for these girls and their family means ongoing opportunities to show, model, and express God's love for us, them, and other children in the project...and we are blessed to have an ambulance to help when people are in need, not to mention a clinic and staff that are here helping people in the face of a even more real lack of options recently.

Paraphrasing something I heard recently...sometimes you just have to do what you can, whether you think it is enough or not and let that talk you out of it...and sometimes you have to do just for one or a few, what you wish you could do for all.  

Maybe in another few decades I will get that down.  In the meantime, God keeps giving me, us, and the mission different opportunities to take those steps of faith and trust Him to bring it all around.